Food for thought or the other way round

IT’s 11:30 pm. Holding my growling stomach, I tiptoe to the kitchen, looking for something to make it settle down. This is a frequent occurrence after the doctor’s advice to ‘improve my lifestyle’. “Ma’am, finish your dinner before sunset,” she said. Obediently, my dinner is done by 6:30 pm. I have to be asleep by 9:30 pm to greet the sunrise at 5:30 am. But sleep eludes the people who wait for it! If I haven’t slept by 10 pm, God help me. I first drink water as I have read somewhere that it is thirst, not hunger pangs. And then I eat whatever I can find. Since I have been forbidden to have fruit after midnight, I settle for gajar ka halwa or mithai. The ‘fitness pressure’ is immense.

A pertinent query is, what to have first thing in the morning? The old routine was lukewarm lemon water with a dash of honey. Now, strictly no water first thing in the morning. “Have white petha (gourd) or vegetable juice or even some ghee in warm water,” say the learned. No fruit or dried fruit. So, I have my tea and biscuits. Pure bliss!

Our latest fad was having Kanji. For the uninitiated, it is rice soaked overnight in an earthen pot, to be mixed with curd and given tadka in the morning. Healthiest pro-biotic, or was it pre-biotic? Whatever. I am not having it now, as milk products are banned for me. I can have fruit. But only three kinds and only one bowl. And no fruit after meals. Once upon a time, fruit was our go-to dessert.

Can someone clarify whether we should follow ‘intermittent fasting’? If yes, an eight-hour or 10-hour ‘eating window’? Another school of thought prescribes having small, frequent meals. I am not even delving into ‘Keto’ or ‘carnivorous diet’. ‘Vegan’ diet? I don’t know how it helps the protagonist, but hosting a ‘vegan’ guest is a nightmare.

When should we leave the dining table? When the stomach is ‘half-full’ or ‘one quarter empty’? The mantra, “Pet bhar ke khao”, has been turned on its head. Anyway, who focuses on the food? It’s the phone we focus on. And, what to have after a meal? Green tea, jeera water or chamomile tea?

Ah, the freshness fetish! My husband’s daily drill is raiding the fridge and discarding leftovers from the last meal. Frozen non-vegetarian stuff? No way. Want chicken, run to the market. Distraught, I have proposed keeping hens, goats and fish as ‘pets with benefits’. Last heard, he is contacting a slaughterhouse for empanelment! A chakki to grind millets like bajra and barley for fresh flour occupies pride of place at home.

Is food only about the body or the soul? Having a healthy mind in a healthy body is tough as both are going bonkers. Any takers for Panchkarma for detox? I am drowning in the cauldron of good health. Please save me, O pizza! I cry, heading for the gym after buying a track suit, a size larger. The battle with the bulge continues.

Musings