He’s 95, Healthy & Has No Regrets — Here’s What He Wants Every Young Indian to Know
It wouldn’t be a stretch to call 95-year-old Dr Bankey Lal Sharma my most enthusiastic protagonist of all time. On the designated interview day, his rising matches the sun’s.
Sharma proceeds to do pranayama (breathing exercises), then washes his clothes, irons his kurta (its crispness a nod to the perfectionist he is), has a hearty breakfast, rinses his dishes and settles on the sofa of his Gujarat home. When the phone rings at 9 am, he couldn’t be more prepared.
His ‘hello’ explodes with enthusiasm. He counters my ‘Kaise ho aap, sir? (How are you, sir?)’ with ‘Pehle aap batao kaise ho (First you tell me how you are)’.
We are just 40 seconds into the call, but I am fascinated by Sharma. He is a trope in himself, his demeanour self-assured, his zest for life evident, his personality magnetic, and his words rhythmically punctuated with an infectious laugh that makes you want to join in.
Dr Bankey Lal Sharma ensures that he does all his chores by himself without any assistance
But under all the candour, he admits, the spotlight makes him shy. “Jab meri naatin ne mujhse kaha ki nanaji aaj apka interview hai, mein toh ghabra gaya (When my granddaughter told me that I have an interview today, I got scared.” “You are doing great,” I assure him.
We journalists are urged to go into interviews with a set of questions handy. But I flouted the norm for this one because I didn’t have a series of questions, just the one — What is the secret to your longevity? Sharma laughs, and then proceeds to share it.
‘Never skipped a day of meditation’
Calling all millennials to reflect on their New Year’s resolutions over the years. How often have you resolved to meditate, only to falter sometime mid-year? Well, if you have plans to live until and beyond 95, you might want to reconsider your procrastination.
As far back as his memory allows him to go, Sharma has remained committed to his morning meditation. “It isn’t that tough. You just have to sit and breathe.” But what about the nagging thoughts — What is for lunch? Did I unplug the iron? Am I meditating right?
Gardening and self-reflection form a major part of Dr Bankey Lal Sharma’s routine
“When you decide to meditate, you must make a conscious effort to ignore the world for that half an hour or one hour. You have to remind yourself that the world will keep moving, but that you are not going to pay attention to it. Instead, focus on your internal world,” Sharma weighs in.
He adds, “If your thoughts begin to drift, don’t get annoyed. Bring your mind back to the centre. It will soon settle down.” Unlocking the secret key to meditation, Sharma points to swadhyaya (self-study). “When your mind wanders, check where it is going. Be impartial as you do it. Examine your conscience, your attitude towards others, your perceptions and feelings — good and bad. It helps you grow as a person.”
Dr Bankey Lal Sharma loves his morning routine, where he combines yoga and meditation to stay fit mentally and physically at the age of 95
Sharma finds his biggest admirer in his granddaughter-in-law, Monica Sehgal Sullere, who is also his pranayama buddy. She is fascinated by her nanaji’s level of contentment with life.
“On one side, I see people striving to achieve more and do more and then on the flip side, there’s him, who is in no rush to reach anywhere. Neither does he have any regrets about the past.” She reveals that her nanaji once told her this was a skill he worked hard to cultivate.
‘Happiness can’t always have an external source’
Life dealt Sharma a mixed hand of cards. As a principal at the University College of Kurukshetra, where he taught philosophy for 25 years, he was never short of company. His retirement years, however, saw a lull. His children settled down and busied themselves with their lives. And when his wife passed away in 2019, loneliness seeped into Sharma’s life.
“But I realised that even though I was grieving, I couldn’t let myself slip into depression by holding onto those feelings and not making space for others.” Sharma is disarmingly honest. “There is no formula to fix loneliness.”
Sharma’s family has always been his biggest source of comfort, especially after his wife passed away.
His learnings of 95 years converge on a possible antidote. “You are your best company. You cannot rely on someone for company all the time. No matter the amount of time you fill up with talking to your children or meeting people, there will be times when you are alone. You have to learn to be okay with it. Loneliness is actually a blessing because it lets you explore yourself.”
‘The world was as simple 90 years ago as it is now’
Sharma’s years have been coloured by events that he holds dear. These include being an audience to Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru’s address to the nation from the Red Fort — the first of its kind following India’s independence; Sharma also visited Birla House in Delhi in the wake of Mahatma Gandhi’s assassination. His childhood and youth were juxtaposed against the freedom struggle.
Happiness comes from within, believes Dr Bankey Lal Sharma
The memories of those times have found a safe home in the wrinkles of his skin and the million lines his smile splits into. As I listen to these sepia-toned stories of his, it makes his conviviality towards life even more remarkable.
“I grew up in Bulandshahr, Uttar Pradesh, where I saw poverty at its worst,” he says, referencing pre-independence circumstances. “Most families were below the poverty line. My village had only one family that could be slotted as ‘middle class’. Illiteracy was high, no one studied; children would bunk school and roam around in the village holding the Indian flag and shouting ‘jhanda uccha rahe humara‘ (may our flag fly high forever).”
Books have always been Dr Bankey Lal Sharma’s best company, even while he was growing u,p and his childhood was juxtaposed against the hardships of India’s freedom struggle
The indigence he witnessed resolved his intent to create a better life for himself. Sharma subverted the trend through his presence on the proverbial first bench in class (in those days, students sat on the patiya — wooden planks) and a love for books and education.
“I kept studying hard. Our village had a school that only taught until Class 2. The school that taught until Class 4 was in the next village. We would walk 4 km one way to reach it,” Sharma shares.
Soon, from the ‘padhne wala ladka (the boy who studies)’ as he was known in his village, he became the ‘padhaane wala ladka (the boy who teaches)’.
This segue marked his step into the world of teaching. Recalling his itinerant academic history, Sharma says he pursued his bachelor’s in arts, followed by a master’s degree in arts, followed by a doctoral degree.
According to Dr Bankey Lal Sharma, the secret to happiness is to find it in others’ success
He never rested on these laurels. “I just made the most of every opportunity. Those were tough times, but there were always people who made the most of what they had, people who decided they wanted to be happy and became happy. Many people believe the world was simpler back then. I don’t think so. The secret is not in the world being simpler or not, it is in choosing to be happy.”
Sharma doesn’t believe happiness is an enigma. He taps on this sentiment, “Once you make your mind resilient, you can find happiness in every circumstance.”
In fact, he believes tough times shape you and equip you well. “Our childhood in the villages was filled with us roaming the fields, eating wild sugarcane, and getting dirty in the mud. It made our body systems strong. This body is now helping me through life.”
So, what’s his secret?
If you’ve reached this part of the story hoping to find Sharma’s dietary secret behind his having no health complications at 95, apologies. Sharma eats everything and enjoys a good burger as much as he does his roti-sabji (Indian flatbread and vegetables).
His meals don’t include super-power rendering ingredients. That being said, Sharma focuses on the food he feeds his mind. “You have to surround yourself with wise people’s work, not people the media shows as saints, but real wise people.”
He interjects here, pointing to how the smartphone has occupied our lives. It activates our reward systems, creating a sort of ephemeral joy. So, does Sharma avoid the smartphone entirely? “No. I use it. But the minute I find myself spending too much time on it, I ask myself, ‘What would I be doing if I weren’t using my phone?’ Then I go do that.”
Dr Bankey Lal Sharma prides himself on his flexibility, suggesting that mental resilience is the key
Emphasising the power of exercise, he says he never misses a day. Yoga is the crux of Sharma’s life. He owes his indefatigable mental strength to meditation and mindful breathing. I came to him hoping to discover a secret, and Sharma doesn’t disappoint. “There are four — be happy in others’ happiness, be sad in their sadness, be amazed at their talents, and ignore their faults.”
“And is that the secret to happiness?” I ask.
“It’s the secret to being happy at 95,” he replies.
Edited by Khushi Arora, All pictures courtesy Monica Sehgal Sullere
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