Emotional Intelligence Is The Real Game-Changer—Here’s Why You’re Falling Behind Without It

In a world of constant competition, being the smartest person in the room no longer gives you the edge it once did. While your intelligence quotient can help you get a spot, it’s your ability to recognise, manage and understand your own as well as others’ emotions or rather your 'emotional intelligence' that determines success in personal and professional spheres.

Here, we discuss ways to brush up and develop your emotional quotient over time to maximise outputs and their relevant scale.

Self-awareness

The first stage towards building a good EQ level comes from inner reflection and being able to identify your own emotions, along with the impact they have on others. Your emotions have a direct impact on your mood, behaviours, performances and interactions with others which makes it all the more important to understand where they come from. Practising mindfulness helps you focus your attention on the present moment without judgement and brings a larger perspective to your life in turn. Taylor Elizabeth, emotional intelligence and etiquette coach, shares, “Take notice of your own reactions, your triggers, how you respond to pressure and the stories you tell yourself. Therapy, mindfulness, journaling and any other practice that builds awareness could really help in the long run. Once you get a good understanding of your emotions, you can begin working on regulating them effectively.” People who are more self-aware tend to be more creative and confident as well. “While genetics may play a part in a person’s baseline temperament, emotional intelligence is largely shaped by life experiences, interpersonal relationships and the environment one is in,” adds Elizabeth.

Self-regulation

Once you’ve identified and successfully placed your emotions, it’s time to learn how to manage them. Those who manage their emotions and behaviour in a positive direction, tend to carry a positive outlook towards things and are comparatively more flexible in a variety of situations, while those who do the same in a negative manner fail to do so. Self-management is a key skill that helps one manage stress, stay emotionally present, control impulses, take initiative, manage emotions in healthy ways and follow through on commitments. This step helps you learn how to deal with people in the right way as well as influence others towards a common goal.

Social awareness

Empathy is a larger emotion made up of three factors. It comes from identifying what others feel, sharing that emotion and hoping to improve upon that experience in the near future as well. The focus over here is not on what you feel and how you feel but rather the manner in which you choose to interact on those emotions with others. This factor, hence, reinforces the importance of mindfulness in making sure you are in touch with your inner conscience and are able to fully immerse yourself in your own thoughts. Social awareness can be built by suitably observing your surroundings, assessing what must be said when and making sure you interact with others in a positive manner.

Relationship management

Using non-verbal communication effectively can take a person a long way in building valued relationships with others and resolving conflicts in healthy and constructive ways to strengthen trust between people. Something as simple as laughter can bring your nervous system into balance, reduce stress, calm you down and sharpen your mind. As Khushi Nair, a communications professional shares, “What I believe is a lot of people get wrong is putting the blame of not being understood on the other person. Sure, it is important that the other person listens to and understands you but if you go into a conversation with an air of aggression, the other person is going to respond similarly. Learning to be empathetic can be the factor that turns an argument into a discussion.” 

Active listening

“Strange as it may sound, one of the few things that has helped me a lot is talking to myself out loud,” shares Khushi, “Listening to my thoughts out loud often feels like hearing them from a third person’s perspective. It also lets me counter these thoughts in every way that I can think of. Another thing that I am very careful about is listening. When I am around people I don’t know very well, I keep my mouth shut and ears open.” In an environment full of routine distractions such as technology, background noise and clouding thoughts, active listening is a key skill that helps you understand and connect with others. By focusing on what the speaker is saying, you can show your engagement by paraphrasing them and by employing other suggestive non-verbal cues. Ask for feedback as much as possible from fellow colleagues, friends and family.

Hence, emotional intelligence is a play that keeps your temper down and helps you handle difficult people with tact and diplomacy.

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