‘The Other Side of Diplomacy’: The silent partners in diplomacy

This is uniquely the only book of its genre in India. It would have been read more widely and sold much more if only its title had been ‘The Better Half of Diplomacy’. The present title — ‘The Other Side of Diplomacy’— gives the impression that the book is about hard foreign policy. It is far from that for the most part. But first impressions can persuade those who browse in a bookshop or in a library whether to buy or borrow a book.

In recent years, the publishing scene in India has seen a plentitude of books by retired diplomats. Many of these have been autobiographical in style even when they masqueraded as tomes on international relations. Howsoever good such works are, there is a limited market for them. International relations is a specialised subject and the broad mass of readers have only a passing and shallow interest in it.

Chances are that a misunderstanding of what ‘The Other Side of Diplomacy’ is about can deprive those curious about the goings-on in chancery households — from representational areas to kitchens — of amusing and light-hearted nuggets of diplomatic life. Fourteen spouses of Indian Foreign Service (IFS) officers have contributed to this volume about how they heroically followed their diplomat husbands or wives to distant lands. Two daughters have also pitched in with accounts of lives with their parents. Even postings which are cushy today, like Washington, were difficult in the 1960s for some of these Indian wives because of deep-seated racism. This was before the civil rights victories wrested by Martin Luther King Jr. Indian government rules of that era did not make life any easier for these spouses.

Former Foreign Secretary Shyam Saran (not a contributor), who presided over the book’s launch, said there were strict limits even on how many pillows were sanctioned for a diplomat’s bedroom. And the IFS salaries then were not so large that households could splurge on pillows and similar basic comforts.

One of the best chapters in the book is by Hema Devare, whose husband Sudhir was posted to nine countries, including the Soviet Union and the United States. While in Washington, a chance meeting with the Foreign Secretary cut short Sudhir’s posting in the “coveted capital of the world”. The Foreign Secretary decided on the spot that Sudhir should immediately move to Sikkim, then an independent kingdom. She writes: “When we went to Sikkim, we were on a foreign posting.” Then it became part of India. “We were witness to the writing of this page in history. The saga never really left us.”

Anita Sapra had the rare good fortune — or bad — of living in both North and South Korea. Her account of a foreign office-supervised visit to North Korea’s famous Kumgang (Diamond) mountains is revealing of how one of the last Communist outposts in the world responds forcefully and swiftly to even minor emergencies.

The author slipped and fell into a pond on the mountain top when she waded into the water. The horror-stricken North Korean officials pulled her out and Anita joked that in India it was normal to take a dip in holy waters. The next time Ambassadors resident in Pyongyang — Jasjit Sapra and his wife Anita among them — were taken to the mountains, the ponds were off limit for visitors, completely fenced off. Anita’s narration is that of a housewife. Not being a diplomat, she missed the political implications of the North Korean response. Nothing is left to chance by the Kim family regime.

Being amateur writers, some of the chapters in this book could have benefitted from more careful rewriting and editing. Which is why journalist Reshmi Ray Dasgupta’s narrative about her mother, Gayatri Ray, spouse of Ambassador AK Ray, is the most engaging chapter and worth buying this book for.

If Reshmi writes a standalone book on the time spent in her diplomat family, it will make for fascinating reading, judging by her chapter with the catchy title, ‘Beyond the Call of Matrimony’.

Kusum Tayal’s description of Nelson Mandela’s innate African dancing prowess reveals a human side of South Africa’s liberator from apartheid. Her ostrich-riding experience in South Africa ought to persuade Indian tourists going there to try it.

With many egos involved and the residual baggage of IFS culture — even in retirement — the book’s editor, Jayshree Misra Tripathi, used diplomatic skills learned from her late husband, Sibabrata Tripathi, in putting together 16 contributions.

— The writer is a foreign policy expert

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