In a league of its own
These are my confessional rants fuelled by a distracted mind tossing in a sea of confusion, trying to make sense of a cricket league that the world around has fallen in love with. The assault on my senses is unending. While fours and sixes flow with brute force more than feline grace, the mind gets stupefied, unable to react. A haze of monotony sets in. If you have seen one, you have seen them all.
Have I grown old? Have I lost that sensory perception that makes the heart thud and the adrenalin race, which helps body and mind become one with the celebrating multitude?
Stupid, Stupid, Stupid… rings often in my ears. I wake up startled and feel miserable. It slowly sinks in that these admonishments are not addressed to me. They are all over the TV while an IPL match is mesmerising its audiences on the ground and in front of the screen. Who said these famous words! The cherubic Rishabh Pant or the legendary Sunil Gavaskar? Millions watch Pant scream these words every evening, three times on a trot, while “Sunny G”, as Gavaskar is so fondly called by his fellow commentators, has been conned into hiring a room not fit for his stature.
In this advertisement for an online travel booking platform, Pant makes Gavaskar realise his mistake, with Gavaskar naturally beholden to Pant for his help. This ad makes better sense only if you know the “cricketing” history of these words and the relationship it has with the two.
Rewind to the recently concluded India-Australia Test series where, in one of the Test matches, Pant at a very crucial stage of the match got out to a horrid shot. Sunny G, speaking on air to the Australian audiences, got so enraged that he got up in anger and shouted in all seriousness: ‘Stupid, Stupid, Stupid’. This shot of Gavaskar expressing his ire in these strong words went viral and the maverick Pant became the villain in the eyes of most Indian cricket fans.
Ironically, for the profit-motivated companies and the advertising world, every piece of dramatic theatre is an opportunity to sell their wares and make money. No one is complaining, certainly not the two main protagonists! So, while you watch your favourite cricketer belt the hell out of the white leather, this happy interlude of watching Pant and Gavaskar hug each other is a nice way to smile and relax before you get on with more of the same action from the live match.
Am I being surly, churlish and mean, or pure stupid? Why am I not like the whole world, vigorously debating as to who has been the star act of the tournament so far — Shreyas Iyer, Rajat Patidar, Ashwani Kumar, Mohd Siraj, Gaikwad, Nicholas Pooran, Jos Buttler, Sai Sudharsan, Travis Head, Noor Ahmad, Mitchell Starc, Josh Hazlewood and many more. Why have the two main jewels of Indian cricket, Rohit Sharma and Virat Kohli, made very subdued starts and what future does our very beloved MS Dhoni have in the league?
Oh yes, Dhoni. Has India or the world seen a more pragmatic, almost phlegmatic, sportsman ever? Unlikely, I guess. Combine his temperament with his phenomenal achievements and you have a real superstar gracing the tournament. So what if he is 43. Age is just a number and for athletes like Dhoni, their energy comes from the loyalty of the legion of fans and the support of team owners for whom the player is playing. If it makes better business sense to have Dhoni still play for them, who are we to complain. After all, India is not CSK and nor is CSK India. They are not accountable to the nation and neither does the nation want to know.
I find his performance in one of the ads where he says “Aaj bhi aur kal bhi”, while selling a consumer item, very endearing. Asked if he means he will continue to play forever, he smiles enigmatically and replies, “I am talking about the product, not myself.”
The sea of yellow wherever he goes to play, at home or away, is a testimony to his popularity.
The frenzy he generates is so cultish and not stage-managed that it might be the envy of even the most powerful man this country has ever seen. They wait the entire evening for his turn to come. Every fall of wicket that shortens his batting order is a cause for celebration. They celebrate his entry, exit and even failure, as there is always a next time.
If you find this inexplicable, try being part of the thousands at the ground in a state of combustible hysteria. It is like nuclear energy that can move mountains, and if it explodes, it can burn the entire world. Scary yes, but that is what a mob looks like. Watching a match from the stands is not for the meek. But don’t worry. To soothe your nerves, you can join Aamir Khan and Ranbir Kapoor in making the perfect Dream11 online that can help you make millions, even if the majority experience is that it lightens your purse more often than not. So what, you can always try. “Join my circle”, it is all for a cause: the brand IPL.
— The writer is the author of ‘Not Quite Cricket’ and ‘Not Just Cricket’
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